Thursday 12 March 2009

Penguins with backpacks and lettuce nose-stuffers...

It's officially spring soon, so I though I'd celebrate with a hearty dose of the surreal. So, first of all, check out Picture is Unrelated, billed as our source for WTF? pics and vids. It's a definite must see-- most of the stuff on it is Tate Modern worthy, yet had has the added Dali factor of being presented out of any context, and supposedly isn't posed by Damien Hirst acolytes charging mega-pounds for head-bending.

This article from the Beeb isn't exceptionally noteworthy, though I do find it reasonably disturbing that some poor bloke with a McJob and a sense of humour suffered the possibility of prison for a YouTube prank. Low-wage service jobs cause misanthropy. That's an inexorable Law of the Universe, much like La Loi de Enmerdement Maximale, or Entropy. Anyhoo, what's amusing about this piece is the title. Shout out and major praise for the cub journalist who thought of "lettuce nose-stuffer." Is there a rule in journalism about how to make appropriate nouns for people who do odd things?

If you're in the UK, maybe you'd like to visit the Natural History Museum at Tring, which is "stuffed full of surprises." Literally. It's a taxidermy museum, with all sorts of beasties (like a polar-bear grizzly hybrid) now stuffed with fluffies like Winnie the Pooh. It's on my list of things to do, for sure.

And finally, this penguin can do people things! It carries a backpack and goes shopping! I do that every Saturday! Indeed, the world is full of wonders! Many thanks to Madeline for the link.

Friday 6 March 2009


This is a veggie-monster from outer space. Enjoy!

La vie, comme c'est belle...

I was having a discussion the other afternoon with someone (over tea, of course) about translation and the subtleties between languages. It got me thinking about my other language, that is, French. Whatever you can say about French falling short of the English language's wordcount by a couple thousand dictionary entries, and however cliché it seems, French is a gorgeous, elegant and provocative language. Here are some of my favourite, hard-to-translate French words:

actualité: not anything close to actuality, actualité is something like "current events," "news," and "the real world, out there, you know," rolled into one little word.
jouissance: I would guess this world comes from joie, or joy; it means something like "bliss" but has a temporal dimension as well, so it's kind of like "moment of uncontrollable great joy." It can be spiritual, aesthetic, psychological, or, you know...ahem...
jolie laide: literally, "pretty-ugly." This describes a woman who, while not model-beautiful, manages to be attractive and sexy and desirable, through her sense of style, personality, and her--
charme: I think we call this "je-ne-sais-quoi" in English. It's an ephemeral quality that someone has that makes them interesting and unforgettable.
la loi de enmerdement maximale : the French equivalent of Murphy's Law. "The Law of Maximum Shittiness." Touché.

And if you're not all Frenched out, here's a link to the English and French full text of Saint-Exupery's deeply philosophical, wonderfully surreal Little Prince. (With illustrations!)

Tuesday 3 March 2009

Viva la Evolution!

Newsflash! Auntie reported this morning that the Catholic Church wants to learn all about evolution. So, while you probably shouldn't natter on about how condom use in AIDS-rife regions in Africa is somehow a crime to the sanctity of human life, you should make like the Pope on this one and get Darwined up. So, to get you excited about biodiversity, the phenomena that launched Darwin into his explorations of both mind and world, take a look at these wierd, yet sadly endangered animals. It's not just whales that need saving, methinks, but also kiwi birds and olms and bumblebee bats. At Darwin Online you can read all of Darwin's works from the comfort of your personal computer, and after that, you can take a look at the Open University's Darwin page, featuring the Devolve Me thingamabob which will turn a picture of you into what you would have looked like as an australopithecus, as well as an order form for a free Tree of Life poster if you live in the UK. Then, after being there and doing that, you can buy the t-shirt.

Sunday 1 March 2009


If you're feeling sad today, here's a picture of Salvador Dali with his pet ocelot.

"Bees have fur, but they're no good for petting."

I sometimes wonder about the creative department meetings behind particularly funny, absurd, or unbelievable ads. For example, this commercial for Orangina Rouge. Laced with Gallic farce, it features a maniacal, anthropomorphic Orangina bottle going after some sqeaky-clean day-trippers with a chainsaw. The tagline is, "Why is he so mean?" to which Mr. Crazy Juice Pop Drink simply answers "Because!" ("Parce que!"). I adore it-- it's silly, but it works because people who see the commercial might immediately associate Orangina Rouge with a fun, absurdist piss-take. Either that, or the actor playing the lunatic refreshment will be assailed with calls of "Because!" for the next five years each time he walks down a boulevard or stops to pick up some Gauloises.

For anyone still sceptical of the Internet's potential to change the mechanics of civil society, see this article on the Nadia Kajouji case. (Warning: the piece contains descriptions of severe creepiness and preventable tragedy.) Through what other medium could one be persuaded, by a total stranger, into a fake suicide pact? Meeting said stranger on a site devoted to suicide, accessed after being ignored by real-world colleagues and friends? I feel this comes down to Yeats: And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,/ Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

On a lighter note, if you'd like to play with an online translation service perhaps less conventional than the now ubiquitous BabelFish (which, while being somewhat functional, still wins major points as the greatest proof of God's non-existence) try this Esperanto translator, and impress your friends and family with birthday greetings, dinner invites, aphorisms and sound bites in the invented language damned by Hitler, Stalin, and Orwell.